She Said

After a couple of years of unsuccessfully pressuring my friends to set me up with someone, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I signed up for a free profile on Yahoo! Personals. I picked the absolute cutest picture I had of myself, wrote a few fabulous paragraphs, and clicked submit.

After going on a few dates with a couple other guys who weren't a match (oddly enough, they were both named Mike), I got an intriguing e-mail from a guy who used to live in Delaware. His name was Mike. I thought, "Well, third time's a charm!"

That first e-mail came on Thursday, April 18. We chatted online back and forth for two days. At the end of the work day on Friday, he asked for my phone number. Mike called me that night and we talked on the phone for over 4 hours. He asked me out on a date for the following night.

Mike suggested that we meet up at Dave and Busters for dinner and games. I got there a few minutes early -- or maybe he was a few minutes late, I don't recall. As I stood in the lobby waiting, I was so nervous. This guy seemed so nice and intelligent on the phone. I hoped he and I would have a good date. I hoped that he would be as handsome as the picture he sent me of himself. I hoped that I looked cool, calm, and collected, even though I felt like I might vomit at any given moment. When he walked in, I could tell it was Mike because he was scanning the room examining people's faces like I had when I arrived. As he looked at me, I smiled. I immediately felt an attraction, he was very handsome and had beautiful blue eyes. He walked up and we introduced ourselves.

Mike and I made small talk as we stood in line to put our names on the list for dinner. He made me feel comfortable and conversation flowed easily. When we got to the front of the line, we were told that there was a 3-hour wait and if we didn't get a table by then, we wouldn't be able to because there was a project prom that had reserved the facility! I could tell Mike was disappointed that his plan wasn't going smoothly. But, I reassured him that it wasn't a big deal. We could play a few games there and then go eat at a nearby Outback Steakhouse. After a while into the date, I realized what a great person I was out with. He opened all of my doors (and still does to this day). He was genuinely interested in what I had to say, and I was intrigued to learn more and more about him.

After Dave and Buster's, I offered to drive to Outback… even though Mike seemed like a nice guy, you can never be too careful. I felt like it would be safer if I was in the driver's seat.

After a tasty dinner, I suggested that we go to Harrah's Casino. Since he had originally wanted to play games at Dave and Buster's, I thought this was a similar alternative. Mike and I decided to each gamble $20. I lost mine very quickly. But Mike kept winning. I knew he liked me when he kept giving me some of his winnings to play. However, I always lost it pretty quickly. He didn't seem to mind.

After a few hours, Mike decided to cash in his chips. As we stood in line, I decided to take a risk, and I reached over and held his hand. His face lit up and I knew that he was as interested in me as I was in him. When we got to the counter, the teller told him, "Oh, I can see why you're smiling. Not because of your winnings, but because of this lady on your arm." I'm not sure how much money he won that night, but he definitely won my heart. We've been together ever since!

He Said

Let's go all the way back to spring of 2002. Wow, that was a long time ago. Okay, to set the stage I had broken up with a girl about 6 months prior and loneliness was setting in. I had few friends at this point, and I didn't socialize much. What few friendships I did have were primarily perpetrated online. One of these friends was someone I had met in college through another ex-girlfriend. I moved from Delaware to St. Louis, and she was from New Jersey (never trust a girl from New Jersey) and moved to San Francisco. This was a common pattern for me, which is why I have to maintain relationships primarily online.

On one particularly lonely night I was having a chat with said friend and the subject of relationships and loneliness came up. Somehow the subject of online matching services came up and in a moment of passion - or perhaps desperation or maybe even on a whim - I began browsing through Yahoo! Personals. So, it's like 1 in the morning on a Friday [my editor says it was actually a Thursday morning], my only social contact is with some girl in San Francisco whom I don't even really talk to anymore and I'm lookin' for love. Well, through some careful filtering, I narrow my choices down to 4 women. I remember one in particular, whose picture I like because she looked a little like Belinda Carlisle. My friend didn't think she stood out enough to make my top 4. But what did she know? I overruled her because the Go-Go's rocked.

Now, I'd like chat up some of these women, but I can't because Yahoo! charges $20 to do anything remotely fun. Forget that. Oh wait, it was one in the morning and I was lonely. So after I enter my credit card information I send each one an almost entirely, but not quite the same email announcing my interest in them and requesting that they please write back. Of the 5 potential relationships, 2 wrote back immediately, 1 a few days later, and one like a month later. (What's up with that? She was too old for me anyway.) I made the 5th woman up, so don't worry about her. The first two women to write me back expressed interest in further communication, which was a good first step if I was going to date them.

I added both of them to my buddy list and instant messaged them over the next few days. On the first day of chatting, one of them seemed completely distracted while talking over IM, and it was generally a disheartening conversation. The other girl and I had a passable first few conversations. Minor e-flirting, general get to know you type of stuff. All passable, but nothing great.

So the next day things seemed clear. One girl was fun (enough) to talk to and the other didn't seem to be working. So, I'd politely add her to my ban list when she wasn't looking. No problem. Girl A, the passably interesting girl (I don't remember her real name, so I just made that one up) wasn't around, but the other girl was. Oh well, it was a Friday and I certainly wasn't going to be doing any work, so why not just string her along for a little while to kill some time? It seemed like a good plan. Then it all changed. Over the course of the day, it turned out this girl was actually an interesting and funny person who responded to my questions and actually laughed at my jokes (indicated by typing "LOL," or Laughing out Loud, occasionally). It was a completely different experience than the previous day. This girl (who I had almost written off) was funny and intelligent and - best of all - liked Survivor. So after about 8 hours of IMing, we agree to carry our burgeoning relationship into the real world, A.K.A. the phone. So I called her and we talked for several hours, re-affirmed our commitment to Survivor, and (as is the man's role) I asked her out on a date. Not one of those new-fangled e-dates things, where people play online role playing games and get married and stuff... No. A real, honest to gosh semi-blind date in a public place where either of us could back out if need be.

This was our (my) plan: We assemble (meet for lack of a better term) at Dave and Busters, a national video game & drinking establishment out in the middle of Earth City, A.K.A. "no where." Video games, food, video games, and women, the plan was perfect! It could not possibly fail.

So I get all gussied up (as is my way), and drive to the predetermined location at the predetermined time. Oddly enough, I had just been there two weeks prior for an assembling of the nerds, so I was well familiar with the territory. I walked in and was blinded by a creature of beauty. Her name was Emily Bowman, or as I liked to call her for the first 3 weeks, Emily Hunter. We were both nervous, not knowing what to expect. We made our introductions and proceeded to enjoy the accoutrements of the establishment as we got to know one another. It was slow at first, figuring out what we had in common and, well... I was simply dumbstruck by her beautiful blue eyes.

Since my plan was perfect, I hadn't counted on the one thing that could bring it all down: Prom. Some dumb school decided to have their dumb Prom at the same place and the same time as my perfect date. The wait at the restaurant was going to be over 3 hours. Really, who has their Prom at a Dave & Busters? How gauche. Fortunately, my love-to-be had a plan; we would proceed to the nearest chain steak house and carry on like there's just no stopping us. It was perfect, even more perfect than my perfect plan - but not as perfect as she was, as I would soon discover. We proceeded to Outback ("Australian for Steak") in a part of Missouri called St. Charles, which I had never heard of... not surprising since I had only lived in St. Louis for about 2 years prior to that. She drove.

We had a lovely dinner of steak and salad and vegetables and stuff. We talked and got to know each other as if we had known each other the entire time. It was magical, but over all too soon. We needed something else to do, or else go home and be lonely again. I never wanted to be lonely again after meeting Emily (which was a change, most of my past relationships made me prefer being lonely to their company).

Emily, the beautiful Emily, saved the day (night) again, by suggesting we head to the nearest Harrah's casino to carry on our date. I was supposed go to Atlantic City once when I turned 21, but a blizzard and other extenuating circumstances prevented that from happening, so I had never actually been gambling. I had too much cash anyway. It was another excellent plan.

Harrah's was one of those magical nights, a perfect way to round out our 2 county, whirl-wind date. It was somewhere during the nickel slots that I got the nerve to make our first romantic contact. I put my arm around her waist. I don't know if it was the hug or the $19 I won, but I will never forget that night.

We were both giddy from excitement as we rode back to my car, conveniently still parked at D&B. The night was almost over, but one thing was left. After about 5 minutes of nervous small talk and finding as many ways to almost, but not quite, end the conversation, we finally committed to what we had both been waiting for. Our lips brushed together in a simple kiss for the first time, but not the last. I said good night, called the next day, and as they say... the rest was history.