• She said
• He said

Emily's side of the story

Well, I must admit, I had been "gently" hinting at the fact that I was ready to get married for quite a while. At one point, in mid April, just before our second anniversary of dating, Mike and I got in a long discussion about marriage. I wanted an estimate of when he would be ready. After much prodding, he told me that it would be "before summer." Ok. So, June 22, 2004 was the deadline. That was just over two months away. Every time we went out to dinner, I made sure my nails were done.

At the beginning of May, Mike told me that he was planning something special for my birthday (May 25 for anyone who wants to know) - and that we'd be celebrating on June 5. So, I just KNEW that would be the day. It made the most sense. Why would he buy me a birthday present and also buy me an engagement ring when he could combine the two?

I was disappointed that I'd have to wait to celebrate with Mike until almost 2 weeks after my birthday. But, it would work out well, because I was planning to get together with my friend Crystal the weekend before on Saturday for shopping and girl-time. And then my friend Tracy had decided to plan a get together dinner for me on Sunday. I wanted to go to Helen Fitzgerald's. In fact, I even called ahead and had reservations for 14. So, there wouldn't be much time to get engaged on that weekend.

As much as I like surprises, I tried my hardest to figure out what would be going on June 5. Mike had said we couldn't celebrate the weekend before, because that was Memorial Day weekend and could complicate things (and I already had so much going on anyway). So, I wracked my brain trying to think of what he was planning that wouldn't work on Memorial Day weekend... camping? Yes, certainly campgrounds would be crowded. But, surely Mike knew me well enough to know I wouldn't want to be proposed to while camping. Sleeping under the stars... romantic. Wiping with leaves... not so much.

I had given up on trying to figure out what was in store for the proposal on June 5 by the time my birthday actually rolled around. It was on a Tuesday, and even though I was SURE Mike would propose on June 5, I still made sure my nails were done. He took me out to eat at Citizen Kane's and then to see the most romantic movie of the year - Kill Bill Volume 2. No proposal.

Four days later was Saturday, May 29. The day of girl-time with Crystal. We started out having a late lunch at St. Louis Bread Co. Then we headed over to the Galleria for our 2:15 pedicure and manicure appt. After the manicure, I commented to Crystal that I hoped it would last a week, because I was positive Mike was going to ask me to marry him the next weekend. We shopped around for several hours, and my feet started to hurt, so I wanted to go home. But, Crystal decided she really wanted a chocolate chip muffin top. So, back to Bread Co. we went. In the mean time, I came up with the idea that she should call Vance (her fiancé) and I would call Mike and we would coordinate getting together for dinner that night. She called Vance, I called Mike and we all agreed to meet up at my condo and go to Casa Gallardo from there. Vance called Crystal as we were on our way back to my place. He said he had arrived at the condo and was waiting with Mike for us. So, when we got there, I noticed Mike's car was not there. And, the door to the condo was locked. I commented to Crystal, "I'm telling you, they aren't here. His car would be here and the door would be unlocked." And, as I unlocked the door and turned the handle ... "SURPRISE!!!"

There was Mike, beaming because he had pulled it off. There were my friends standing in the living room of my condo with noisemakers. Balloons hung from the ceiling, streamers and happy birthday signs decorated the condo (which was surprisingly much cleaner than I had left it earlier in the day). I was completely shocked. Then, as everyone who has ever been thrown a surprise party does, I realized all the deceit that had gone on to get to that point- the dinner at Helen Fitzgerald's, scheduled for the next night ... a decoy. My whole girls-day with Crystal... she was in on it!! I was hoodwinked!!

I had no clue whatsoever. I felt so loved that Mike would go to such trouble to coordinate this. Then, I realized that THIS was my birthday celebration he was planning. There would be no proposal on June 5, as I had been anticipating for weeks now. But, it was ok. I understood. The surprise party showed me that he did love me, he just wasn't ready to be engaged.

The party was a success. I was so overwhelmed that they pulled it off. All my friends had brought food and beverages. Mike had ordered pizzas. Tracy brought a Dierberg's birthday cake. It was perfect. We played games and sang karaoke. Mike even sang "When a Man Loves a Woman," and started it off by dedicating it to me.

Around 9 pm, a few couples were getting ready to leave. I insisted they take some cake home with them. So, I went in the kitchen to prepare to go boxes. I noticed that everyone had gathered in the dining room. Mike asked for everyone's attention and he put his arm around me. A couple people (including me) realized what was about to happen.

"As you all know, Emily and I have been dating for a while now, and I thought this would be a great opportunity to ask her if she'll marry me."

The next thing I knew, Mike was down on one knee, I was covering my face with both hands (see pic), and I said "yes!"

The rest of the night was a blur. I learned about all the preparation that had gone into the party and the proposal. And with each new detail, I fell even more in love with Mike. It was perfect and so special. I couldn't have asked for a more thoughtful fiancé. "Fiancé"... I'll just be getting used to that one when I have to change it to husband.

Planning a Surprise Party 101

'Round about April, I needed something special for a certain person's birthday. I needed a plan. A good plan. A really good plan. The bestest, most excellent plan "EVAR." So I had to think of one. And I only had two months. TWO MONTHS.

Sitting at work one day, listening to my music, I had a plan. It was a good plan. It was a surprise party. I have never thrown one and Emily had never had one had only had one before, so it would be perfect. Oh, and about 5 minutes later I had another idea. I would ask Emily to marry me. It was perfect. Emily would never expect a party and certainly never expect me to do anything that draws public attention. I'm rather quiet, you see. (A little on the shy side.) Anyway, it was the perfect plan -- as my plans usually are.

So, I had two tasks. First, I needed to figure out how to throw a party. Second, I needed to figure out how to propose. Not just any proposal, a secret proposal. While everyone would be in the surprise party, I would have a surprise for everyone else.

To plan the party, I needed an accomplice. Perhaps several, but I would start with just one. Who better to call than her best friend Crystal? After pulling a little Super Secret Spy action and getting Crystal's phone number from Emily's phone (not easy since Emily's never far from it), I called Crystal... and left a message. But shortly Crystal called me back. She was on-board and her task was to get in touch with all of Emily's friends and compatriots.

Meanwhile, I needed a ring. Not just any ring, the BESTEST ring EVER. One problem, I didn't know squat about diamonds, or rings. I knew rings were round. The beginning-meets-the-end kind of round. But that was about it. Color, clarity, and size, I knew nothing of these. I had to get my learn on. Since I don't trust easily, I solicited advice and recommendations.

I had a little write up about what to look for, but rather than reading it, I decided to wing it and just play dumb at the store. I learn by example anyway. The first place I tried was in the back of a furniture store. It was weird, but they had quite the selection of diamonds. Not so much on the settings (or the actual ring part for you guys reading). While I had picked out an awesome setting and a great diamond, they couldn't get it in yellow gold in time. Forget that. I needed something better and .... on time. Fortunately, I had something that would help. That something was a second recommendation. Not just a second recommendation, a better recommendation (since it would be the place I actually got the ring... you'll see). That recommendation was a place called Robert Beins.

Back to the party. We needed a date. This was a tricky thing. Emily's birthday (she's the subject of the story, remember) was May 25th, and was on a Tuesday, not the best party day. To make matters worse, that weekend was Memorial Day weekend, which complicated matters. Wait a week and it wouldn't really be a birthday party, have it that weekend and risk people having holiday plans. I couldn't decide, so I put it to a vote. The answers came rolling in - and the answer was clear, either date worked. Except for a few people, whose opinion would have screwed things up (just kidding, Amy R). The date was set, May 29th.

At this point I was running out of time to find the perfect ring. The jeweler had screwy hours and it was hard to sneak away long enough when it was open. I was going to go one Saturday morning, but Emily made me stain her deck. That was a lot of work and not much fun. I like fun.

It took a while, but I finally made it to the jeweler, Robert Beins (it's up off of new Ballas Road, near the Bread Co.). I knew this place was different since I had to press a buzzer to get in. I'm glad I didn't wear my hobo clothes that day; they might not have let me in. But they did let me in, and I bought a ring.

Oh, you wanted the details? Not really? Well, I'll tell you anyway. It was an arduous process. I knew Emily's tastes, since she had me take her around to all of the jewelry shops in West County Mall. This wasn't going to be easy. I had to search through nearly every setting only to pick a few that superficially met her taste. It would do, and better yet, it would be ready in time. Awesome, but I needed time to think about it. So I waited.

Three days later, I went back to seal the deal. I got buzzed in once more. My choices were brought out. Several cathedral settings and a few diamonds I had picked out. I had made a nice compromise between size and quality, if I do say so myself. They were all good, but I didn't want good, I wanted great. I wanted insanely great (Thanks, Steve Jobs). Just then, a sparkle caught my eye. I saw a setting in the display case I had never seen before. It was beautiful, it was perfect. But it had a round mounting, and Emily wanted a princess cut (which are square). Fortunately, the folks at Robert Beins rock, they could alter it to meet my needs. It was settled, and I paid my hard-earned cash. I was set. I could pick up the ring as soon as 4 days before the party. Plenty of time!

The party fast approached. I set about acquiring party favors. I had no idea what to buy, so I called on another of Emily's friends, one who knew how to throw a party... Tracy. She advised me on appropriate décor and decorating themes. A few days before the party, I made my way to Party City and picked up 60 balloons (all in shades of blue, Emily's favorite color), a bottle of helium (it was on sale!), plates, napkins, hanging thingies, streamers, and all sorts of random crap. I apparently went overboard, but everyone was impressed, so it worked out. I also bought like $50 worth of adult beverages. It was my first party and I didn't want to run out. On a related note, we finally got rid of the last of the beer at Tracy's Halloween party.

T-Minus around 3ish days or so. The ring was ready right on time. I breathed a sigh of relief. The jeweler had come through. I went to pick up the ring and got my first glimpse of the final product. It was perfect. It was everything I hoped and more. I was pretty sure Emily would like it. Sure, it wasn't EXACTLY what she had asked for, but I thought it was awesome anyway and everyone at work seemed to like it. I was set. No turning back now, well I could, but I would have been out quite a bit of money. Plus, I was excited to ask Emily to be my wife. So, no turning back now.

T-Minus the night before. I had a job to do. As is the tradition... I needed Emily's mother's blessing. After working up the courage to dial the phone (and hanging up a few times), I called. She wasn't there. So, I left a message. I think the message went something like. "Hello Susan, this is Mike, Emily's boyfriend. I have a question to ask, so please call me back." Short and to the point, it was a good message. Sure, it sounded better in my head, but it would do.

So, about an hour later, I get the call back. I pick up the phone,
"What's wrong?"
"Uh, nothing, I just called to ask you a question."
"What?"

I don't really remember my exact phrasing, but I indicated how Emily and I had been dating for some time and so on and so forth. I'm sure I sounded quite stupid, but I got my point across and that's what counted. Permission granted. To be honest, that was the hardest part of the whole operation, but it was over. Everything was in place.

T-Minus the day of the party. Emily had plans to meet up with Crystal to do their annual birthday shopping trip. I got out early to buy the drinks and snacks. Tracy and Dana were due to show up sometime in the early afternoon. But I had one last mission. Clean the condo. While Emily is a neat and tidy person, she doesn't really pick up until someone is coming over. Since the party, by definition, was a surprise, the place wasn't exactly clean. I stopped by the local Schnucks super market and bought way too much beer and snacks and headed over to her condo, hoping that she had left the house. The coast appeared clear, and I began my task.

I cleaned for 2 hours non-stop and had worked up quite the sweat by the time Tracy and Dana arrived to help decorate. I excused myself to take a shower while they began the process of blowing up 40 or so balloons and hanging streamers and banners. They did a great job. The placed looked terrific.

Party favors, check; diversion, check; $60 in beer, check. Everything was in place and ready. The first guests began to arrive right on time. First a few, then a few more and a few more still. It was beginning to look like a party (which it was, so that was good). We were all waiting for the signal, a quick phone call from Crystal letting us know where they were. The cell phone rang. It wasn't Crystal, it was Emily! Thinking fast, I ran into the office where she wouldn't hear the now thronging crowd. She asked where I was since I hadn't picked up my home phone. Thinking fast, I came up with an excuse. That excuse is between me and the 40 or so people Emily has already told. Suffice to say, it was the best I could think of off the top of my head.

After chatting it up for a minute, she asked if Crystal and Vance and I would like to go to dinner. I realized this must have been a ruse of Crystal's to buy some time on her end. I went along with everything. I finally got Emily off the phone. Even though they were on their way, they would still arrive about 30 minutes late. I had an angry mob scene on my hands. Okay, not really, everyone was cool with it. We just sat back and relaxed, and I made some awkward small talk to pass the time.

My cell phone rang again. Emily! Again! Having no where else to run, I hopped out onto the deck. She wanted to know where I was this time since she just tried me at home again. Oh, crap. Thinking fast, I told her I was at the gas station and was heading over early to her condo to meet her. It went over well enough and she was just calling to confirm our faux dinner plans. Whew, dodged the bullet on that one. I had no idea this would be so nerve wracking.

6pm approached, the new arrival time. The crowd was growing tense, the mood was so thick you could have cut it with a knife of some kind. People were expectant, anxious, impatient. It couldn't be a party without the guest of honor. We waited, and waited some more. RING! Emily's home phone rang. RING! She didn't have caller id. RING! Should we pick it up? What if it's Emily? What if it's Crystal??? RING. Click, "Hi it's me, we'll be at Emily's in 10 minutes. Dinner is set..." it was Crystal, pretending to call her fiancé and discuss dinner plans. They were about to arrive.

It turns out you can't really see much of anything out of Emily's front-door peephole, which was my stake-out position. I was ready to open the door at the split second she started to come in. It all came down to this moment, the wait was nerve-wracking.

There was no good vantage point from the condo without giving away the surprise so every car that went by raised the alarm. It wasn't until Emily and Crystal actually started walking up the steps that we really knew they had arrived. Everyone tensed, quiet and motionless. Someone farted, it smelled. Not really, I'm just making that up, but it would have been pretty funny - or awkward.

Keys rattled in the door and rattled some more. The door opened, helped by me, I opened it wide, so all could see. Shocked Emily stood, and smiled. I had achieved what I planned all the while. To surprise Emily with guests, for a party, but here's the rest:

Emily stood there for a minute in silence with a dazed look on her face. Either she was stunned at the site of all of close friends standing in her (cleaned) apartment, or she was bad at acting surprised. For the purposes of the story, I'll go with stunned (it sounds better). We all yelled surprise, as is the custom. It was hard to tell if she was pleased or just shocked. The party had begun.

The pizzas showed up, people started relaxing and having fun. The wall flowers flowered on the wall, the social mingled and everything was great. I ran out to get some extra soda because we ran out, but I don't think anyone really noticed I was gone. I managed to get down a couple of beers. I wanted to be relaxed, but not too inebriated for what came next. The party was now on cruise control, dinner had settled, karaoke was sung, and cake was about to be served. This gave the party poopers their first chance to exit. This would not do. I needed the biggest audience possible. I managed to postpone the first to leave for a minute while I snuck into the office where I had hidden all my cash, I mean the ring. Yes, the ring. It was in my hand now. There were 20 people in the next room I had to surprise (not to mention my fiancée-to-be), it wasn't going to be easy for me. But I had just sung karaoke in front of them (a deliberate way to work up my nerves), so I knew I could do this.

I approached the kitchen where Emily had started cutting her own cake to be served (letting her cut her own cake, people?). I asked to borrow her for a moment. It gets a bit fuzzy from this point, but I started to stammer on about how long we had dated or something to that effect. I felt I was going to lose my audience and/or my nerve if I didn't get on with it, so I blurted out the question. You know the one. At some point I remember I was supposed to be on my knee, and awkwardly I dropped down to the floor. The ring fit perfectly (yes, I'm that good). I'm guessing she said yes, but I'm not really sure - I was pretty out of it at this point. The crowd seemed suitably impressed, women were crying (though not Emily, who as it turns out had suspected I would ask her soon, but was really surprised by the party.), the men were suitably embarrassed to have to watch such a sentimental moment. But it had all worked. The plan had gone off better than I had suspected. I had just proposed in front of 20 drunken people. Okay, no one was really drinking much, which explains why I had beer in the fridge until Halloween.

The rest of the night flew by. Everyone was impressed by the ring. I had done a pretty good job (if I do say so myself). The party dwindled to just a few close friends and finally faded into history. Our history together, still yet to be written - The future of my beautiful bride-to-be and me, the luckiest guy in the world.

Oh, and the wedding plans started the next day.